So much is happening.
Originally, when I began blogging in Perspicacious, I said it was going to be a summertime thing. I guess I knew intrinsically the intensity of the struggle for timespace that happens every year in late August/early September. Always, there are the back-to-school rumblings of billions of public schoolers marching out to the bus stop every morning once again. You can usually catch the sound and smell of fresh notebooks being labeled and old textbooks being bought at ridiculous prices. For me, this time of year is usually a slightly disorganized cross between attempting to invent some semblance of a self-regulated schedule, and trying to finish out the remains of what didn't quite make it on to the must-do list at the end of May. This year, I suppose, is much the same, and yet...completely different.
Everything is changing.
Whenever I step back to muse over the plans and possibilities for the 2007-2008 school year, it kind of blows my mind. I can see me in my mind's eye, a bright-eyed and slightly terrified senior, braving Atlanta's morning rush hour to try and make it to Oglethorpe University on time for my 10AM math class. Me. Taking a college class. Learning how to function in a world quite outside of the one with which I have been well-acquainted. Re-learning to work for the things I want. And, learning it in a way that doesn't leave much room for laziness. The way things are looking, all of the schooling that I am really excited about this year is going to come via me either a] paying for it myself or, b] paying for the gas to get there. Don't get me wrong in this. My parents have given me the enormous gift of covering the tuition for Oglethorpe, and my grandparents have provided me with the Beautiful Buick I need to be able to get there. The plans have been well-laid for me. I simply have to step into my role in fulfilling said plans. In other words, I need a job.
I think I have a plan, though.
Anyway. All of this to say that, things are changing. Life is moving quickly and with much uncertainty. It's like, I know what's supposed to happen. I know what the syllabus for this year is, in my head. But can I really know what will happen? Can I really know what changes will take place in my heart, my mind, my beliefs?
I feel like I'm being given a set of wings, with the option of returning to the cocoon still readily available should I grow too weary. Or just, to remember where I am from, and where I want to be.
So. What else?
Someone anonymous left a wonderful comment on my last blog and said some words about how they and a friend purchased coloring books together. So, when they want to just chill and be together, they color! I thought this was a brilliant concept and a very reasonable way to spend one's downtime, so I bought a book of my own.
Remember these?
They were the only really colorable-looking pictures in any of the books at Kroger. Whoever was making all the easy-to-color pictures in all the coloring books must have gotten bored. All of the Disney Princess and Barbie books were printed in mind-boggling detail, especially when Crayola is your primary medium. SO. I bought the simplest, sweetest one I could find. So far, I love it.
Today, I...
must do something about "the room situation." Everything in my roomspace is begging for a makeover. Piles of unread books adorn the screaming-to-be-vaccummed carpet. A slim covering of bird-dust (a phenomenon known to an unfortunate few who are not pro-active enough to bathe their birds) rests on every lampshade and windowsill. There is a small-but-menacing mound of recently-used purses holding counsel on the floor by my bed, and the little shreds of half-eaten bird food are making a slow, steady attempt on my sanity as they somehow end up dominating every square inch of everything in my disorganized domicile!
Deep breath. So. I need to do something about that.
should color some more. To combat the intense side-effects that disorganization has on my brain.
will probably write a couple of letters. I can barely go to the card-aisle in Kroger without buying at least one just-because card and probably a birthday greeting or two. So. I'll be filling in the blank spaces around the inner-punchline of aforementioned greetings in order to make the people I love a little bit smilier. :)
Other than this, all that is left to say is,
smile! leave a comment! thanks for reading!
and,
I'll see you soon.
4 comments:
ebay.
has coloring books of yesteryear. not these digital, modern, humanic coloring books. the ones that our imaginations licked like flame. i have peter pan. aladin.
change is good. thats liberal, you know. i am liberal in this sense, not that i'd support killing babies, calling them mistakes or anything. my room too, is caked with old bottles of forgotten substance, bubble containers from the last wedding, things that i do not need, like extra cloaks and extra shoes, extra boxes and chests. scattered with instruments. i too am bothered by the devaluing things, unorganized. what was good yesterday, is okay today and in my mind, will be less than satisfactory tomorrow. i want to paint my room. i want to share my clothes. i want to rid myself of things unneeded.
this thought haunts me: God, the father, is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. everything in our world rots, the world seeks entropy, the world groans for salvation, the earth is unsatisfied and thirsty, time dissolves or deepest held beliefs and or most inspired moments. who is stong enough to remain monotonous but the Lord Almighty? he makes all things new. see he says to the sun again and again "do it again."
he came to take us, all things go, all things go, to recreate us, all things grow all things grow, we had our mindsets, all things know, all things know, we had to find it, all things go, all things go.
:) lets color sometime.
mmm I love you and Jesse and I would like to request adoption into your clan. thank you.
I am so excited for you and what your future holds. I start an English class at UGA next Thursday, and I am scared. And after this year...then what? I have no idea. At this point in my life, my identity, outside of Christ, is really the most fluid that it has ever been. This simultaneously terrifies and delights me. Change is most definitely good, I know it is. But it is a multifaceted goodness that is frightening and confounding and renewing and exhilarating, all at once.
On a more personal note, I have just recently acquired a job. Jobs are wonderful, necessary things but I am scared because I know that jobs mean money and money means gas but it also means that after gas there will be some left over and then there will be the dread. This creeping, sneaking, deceitful dread that will convince me that I need more stuff. Stuff like books and movies and shoes and cameras and t-shirts all sorts of things that I have absolutely no need for whatsoever. This dreadful temptation is going to be unbelievably difficult for me to handle and I ask that you pray about it for me, however ridiculous it may seem. Because if anything I need less stuff. And I love that when we do hang out we will be giving and not getting. I can't wait for that.
I love you.
I had a guidence counselor in junior high who used to say, "Life is filled with vicissitudes."
There was always a group/gaggle/pod of students standing around in his office. Wondering about classes and boyfriends and parents - all that stuff and life in general. He would smile and nod and say, "My friends, life is filled with vicissitudes."
If you asked him what it meant, he would tell you to go look it up. If you knew what it meant, you weren't allowed to tell. Everyone had to look it up and figure it out for themselves. (It is really hard to look up words when you don't know how to spell them...) But I digress...maybe.
Not really.
Change.
Good topic.
Good blog.
It makes me have so much to say that I will once again generate one of those comments that excedes the original blog in length thus embarassing the commentor. :) Instead, here are couple of quotes on change. :)
"If you want to change some things in your life, you have to change some things in your life." Randy Garmon
"I was born not knowing and have had only a little time to change that here and there."
Richard Feynman
"If we don't change directions soon, we'll end up where we're going."
Professor Irwin Corey
"Change? Change always costs. It costs time, money and usually a little bit of my sanity. But I want to be there and not here, so go ahead, have a little piece of my brain."
me.
hmm. i bet i would have been 700times more giddy about my "to school" gift if i'd read this first. (i hadn't) which is probably wierd to hear considering how happy i was already, despite knowing that you'd been coloring and buying friendy cards.
i'm really excited about this prospect of makeovering your room. you should let me help you! we'll go shopping for room makeover things, switch furniture around, build a bookshelf for those lonely fellows lying helplessly on your floor, and get a rug!
sounds fantastic.
:-D i really think that you going to school is WONDERFUL! know you'll know what I'M going through!! it's crazy annie. PUBLIC SCHOOL. ME. AHHHH!!!!!
wuv you!
ellie bellie
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