professor.

So, I am sitting here, in my beautiful bed, with my beautiful birthday-present MacBook computer in my lap, feeling my body's relief at finally getting to sink down in between my sheets. Behind my head is a plethora of pillowy objects, one of which looks much like the critter in the picture you see here, and goes by the name of Professor. He was a Christmas present, and is currently my favorite bed-buddy since Lambie of my younger years.

Professor has been with me to many a sleepover, been my comfort on less-than-comfortable car rides, and even flew with me faithfully to Guatemala and back, all in the short space of time since Christmas 2007. But more than all of this, Professor is an easy transition into being able to talk about what's really on my mind:



College.

And no, not just because his name is "Professor," although that helps.

To me, Professor turns my mind in the Oglethorpe direction for a few reasons. One is because, for some reason, I am inordinately excited about bringing my incredible good-looking bed to dorm life. For those that have not seen it, you will have to believe me when I say that my bed is awesome. In addition to my apple red flannel sheets, apple red uber-soft blanket, and Professor's furry face, I managed to wrangle up an authentic every-color-in-the-rainbow Mexican blanket to be the icing on the cake. At the end of the bed, I keep one turquoise and one lime green blanket folded on top of each other, because I tend to freeze easily. On the other side, I pile up two or three brightly colored pillows on top of my red one. If it sounds overwhelming, that might be a little bit true. But really it's just perfect, and the only other bed ensemble that comes close to winning my heart as much would be Stephanie's cowboy sheets. Those are pretty sweet.

The second reason for my college-bound mindset tonight is that I can look at Professor, sitting on my dorm-bed-to-be, and my heart will go in several directions at once. Simultaneously, I feel like a very small person who wants to sit in bed and hug her stuffed animal for a very long time, and like a very excited person whose eyes are filled with the sun on the horizon of her life. Almost as soon as I had made the firm decision to send in all my forms to Oglethorpe, the forms that all say things like "definitely, for sure, I'll go to this school," I was overwhelmed with both of these feelings in turn. I sent each form off with a slightly trembling hand, realizing more and more that I really would only have months left to live as young as I am. Not so much that I will be all of a sudden very grown up the moment I step over the OgleThreshold; not that at all. I just suddenly understood that I only have a few more months left of the way things are, and then it will all change. I'll step into a world where "going home" only happens on the weekends, and not at the end of each day. My family will be 45 minutes away instead of playing songs and making food on the floor below me. My room will be emptied of what matters to me most and I will have to decide all the books I want to take from my shelves.

New. Different. Alarming.

We are, of course, still waiting on verification of financial aid stuff to all come through and whatnot. And it's like my heart can't believe until we are cleared through every last detail. But if I tell myself the truth, I've been given the "YES!" signal all the way down the board. I'm just afraid to believe that for sure, and afraid of what it means if I do believe it.

Change.

Anyway, the other half of me is still rejoicing, though. I'm like, picking out room mates. Yep.


Other than this, I have many things to think on and write out. But it is late enough that I feel it would be in the better interest of the general public for me to end at this time.

I will quickly mention: I turned eighteen. I had a party. It was outstanding.

My parents gave me a future in college by giving me the only thing I would have asked for but also the thing I did NOT expect:



BEHOLD: MacBook. I am still a little overwhelmed when I think about it. Oh, the papers I will write on these keys.

Annnd, Julisa gave me a running ensemble. Sweet. She loves me. :)

Ellie gave me my life manuscript. Every blog I've written since 2004, all printed neatly, creatively bound, and beautifully organized, wrapped in a box and staring me in the face saying "someone loves you, someone loves you, someone really, really loves you."

I was...more than a little shocked. Thank you, Ellabell. I don't know if I will ever be able to give you anything to measure up.


And, there is more. There is always more. Mi novio gave me a typewriter, which I am tempted to write on every time I walk near it in my room. If I let myself continue, I will not sleep.

So, sweet dreams world. More soon.